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Jan 16 2015

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I’m Singing in the Audio Rain

It’s good to have an umbrella whilst in the middle of a heavy rain.
It’s even better to have a firm grip of the sidewalk, so as to hold and KEEP it upright, despite rapidly changing side winds. To keep your head dry. This is a story of *AUDIO* Rain, an Umbrella, and two Gutters.

Rain 3

Recently, in needed to get to the office.
I was executing a hike.
A walk.
Why “on foot”?
Due to some technical problems with the Underground Metro / Subway that day.

It just so happened, that whilst walking, I got caught up in a rainstorm.
What a downpour.

Water was falling down in bucket loads.
A steady, constant supply of water falling down from the sky.

It was falling down in bucket loads  to my right.
It was falling down in bucket loads to my left.

Interestingly, the amount of rain falling to my right was of the same quantity as the amount of rain falling to my left. That held true for at least as long as I held that umbrella in an exactly upright position.

Rain 5

Frankly speaking, I did not give a damn, from where the bucket loads of water where coming from.

What’s more, I did not give a damn where it is flowing to.

The main thing that I was concerned about was keeping that umbrella steadily upright above my head, so as not to get wet.  In order to do so, you need to have a firm grip of the sidewalk underneath you.  Not much sense in having an umbrella, and then slipping an falling down into the water ponds, getting yourself all wet.

What’s more, The firm grip of the sidewalk becomes especially important, if the rain is accompanied by gusts of side winds.  Heavy side winds trying to rip and tilt your umbrella to the left or to the right.  It is then that the sidewalk under your feet becomes a very important local reference point, for both your left shoe, as well as your right shoe, so that you can work with your hand upon the umbrella to counter those hefty gusts of side wind.

Suddenly, whilst I was walking, the downpour intensified to an extent that the street gutters, spaced lavishly apart, did not keep up with the downpour and water ponds began to swell up rapidly.  Greatly concerned about the well being of my dry feet and shoes, I needed to find some temporary solution to the swelling water ponds.

As the Polish saying goes, it is darkest just under the streetlamp. Soon I spotted a grouping of two street gutters, two sinks, which “sunk” the water that was pouring from the sky, from the cloud, or from WHATEVER.

Frankly speaking, at that particular moment, I did not give a damn about from where all the water is COMING from !!!!

The main thing was that the water has some route to disappear. Towards Somewhere. WHEREVER.

Frankly speaking, at that particular moment, I did not give a damn about towards where all that water “sunken to” or where it is HEADING for !!!!

Luckily, there were two tall bricks, just in the vicinity, positioned right in the middle between those two street gutters. The bricks were high enough and stable enough and spaced such that I could stand upon them, so I put my two feet upon them, so as to keep my feet out of the water and dry.

The bricks constituted a very nice local reference, a support, upon I which rested my feet.

So, looking downwards, I see:

One gutter to the left of me.
Storm sewage on the asphalt

One gutter to the right of me.

Storm sewage on the asphalt
Equal sized gutters.
Identical, to be more specific. 

Water pouring down in bucket loads to the left of me and to the right.

rain 4

It is then that the gusts of side wind started ripping and tilting my Audio-Umbrella.  First to the Left, and then to the Right.

But fret not.

Having those stable bricks underneath me, those local points of reference, as well as a very nice and colorful audio-umbrella, with the wind tilting it and whistling underneath it …

… I thought to myself – what the heck ….

Rain 1 b

So I started “Singing in the Rain”

Or was it the Audio-Umbrella singing ?

Whilst doing so, standing like a fool on those two bricks, between them two gutters, whereby each of the gutters was of exactly the same size and diameter, just enough to drain that excessive water from under my feet and route it to some God forbidden place ( … and again I would like to stress with full force – that I do not give a damn where it is sunken to or routed to …),  I noticed an interesting phenomena.

When my audio-umbrella was tilted to the RIGHT, a bigger amount of water was falling down to the RIGHT.
Specifically, to the RIGHT GUTTER.

At the same time, the amount of water that was falling down to the LEFT of me was smaller. Specifically, it was falling to the LEFT GUTTER.

Obviously, the “bigger” plus “smaller” amounts of water added up to the same amount of water, as experienced when the Audio-Umbrella remains in the untilted position, straight up.

As mentioned earlier, it was a steady, constant supply of water falling down from the sky.  Remember?

But there is more to that observation with that “tilted Audio-Umbrella”.

Whilst it was tilted to the right, the amount of water that fell upon the right hand side gutter was bigger than before. Actually, it was TOO BIG for that right hand side gutter to handle.   To cope with. A surplus of water resulted.

At the same time, The left hand side gutter was not being used to the full extent of its capability, as it is capable of draining much more water than it was receiving at that moment, in that particular situation.

The result of the above that I observed a stream, a flow of excessive water, between those two bricks that I was standing upon. A flow in the direction from the surplus water supply, being the overwhelmed right hand side gutter, to the left hand side gutter, which had extra and unused draining capability at that particular moment.

So, in other words,  by tilting the audio-umbrella from the straight-up, or idle position, I actually observed a net flow of the surplus audio-water-current from the right hand side gutter to the undersupplied left-hand side gutter.

All this as a result of the gusts of wind from the left and from the right.

As for the audio-umbrella, well, it was experiencing a heavily unsymmetrical flow of water upon it. Much more of the water current flowing do the one side, than to the other.

But to which side, you ask ?

Well now, that depends upon the direction, in which the umbrella is tilted, does it not?

That is obviously a derivative of the momentary wind direction.

As long as the gusts of wind and the tilts of the Audio-Umbrella are not too excessive, you can still basically keep your head dry, whilst modulating the flow of the water upon your audio-umbrella, and keep your feet stable and dry, for as long as there is a water current path between those two bricks that you are standing upon, so that the excessive water may freely flow from the over-swamped gutter to the the under-swamped one.

Very intriguing.

At this point, I would like to express my thanks to John Broskie of


and specifically,


and for his kind hints as to find those two reference bricks to stand upon (!!!),
as well as to think about that darned umbrella.

“Solid Ground” Reference Bricks, to stand upon, and umbrella,
similar to the ones used here …




{ To be continued …
With specific stuff pertaining to not giving a damn, …
… neither to where the constant-water-draw bucket loads of water where coming from,
… nor to where they are flowing to.
WHO CARES ???? }




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